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Ashima Sharda Mahindra • 20 Jul 2024
How Do You Identify, Cope, And Deal With Abandonment Issues?
While the initial behaviours of abandonment fear are often not purposeful, over time, the reaction these behaviors get can become self-reinforcing
Losing is a part of life, but for many the grief just doesn’t go. Many people are not able to accept the loss or fear of losing their loved ones as it becomes a constant source of their anxiety – also known as fear of abandonment. According to experts, this mental health condition is usually a consequence of abuse, neglect, or other traumatic experiences early in life. Many mental health doctors also call it a part of borderline personality disorder.
While the initial behaviours of abandonment fear are often not purposeful, over time, the reaction these behaviors get can become self-reinforcing. That can cause someone to repeat the behaviors to get the response again. Experts believe this behaviour can have unhealthy consequences, which include ruined relationships and not being able to form healthy relationships.
Signs and symptoms of abandonment
Those who have a fear of abandonment exhibit many of the repeated behaviours, though some may be more prominent than others. These include:
Cycling through relationships
Experts believe many people engage in numerous shallow relationships as they fear intimacy and always look for a reason to leave a relationship before the other person can.
Sabotaging relationships
Many people also act irrationally to get out of relationships.
Clinging to unhealthy relationships
Some people with abandonment issues also stay in relationships despite a desire to leave, as they fear being alone.
Needing constant reassurance
Many constantly seek out a friend to fulfill their emotional guarantees.
Separation anxiety
If you become anxious about your partner going somewhere in advance, you may be expressing abandonment fears
Panic attacks
If you start having anxiety or panic attacks when you do not see your loved ones, this overreaction may be a sign of an abandonment issue
What causes abandonment issues?
According to experts, for a healthy relationship to thrive, a balance of physical and emotional needs should be met. However, if your assurances are interrupted, abandonment fears develop. A few of these events include:
Death
Even though it is natural, the death of a loved one can be highly traumatic for some people. Losing a loved one unexpectedly can create an emotional void that can be filled with fear
Abuse
Physical and sexual abuse can lead to mental health issues, including a fear of abandonment
Relationship loss
Divorce, separation, and infidelity are a few painful reasons that can lead to lingering fears
Unstable life
For those moving locations routinely and growing up in foster homes could lead to abandonment issues
Ways to cope with abandonment issues
There are various strategies that can be applied successfully to help you cope with abandonment issues, which include:
Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy is among the best and most-familiar frontline treatments for abandonment issues. It helps reframe your negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Being present
If someone you know is suffering from this condition, be present for them and actively listen to their concerns without judging
Medication
When therapy does not show any fruitful results, a psychiatrist can prescribe anti-anxiety medication, which can affect chemical signaling in the brain.
Family counselling
Family counseling helps you create understandings and bonds with your loved ones
Self-care
A few self-care strategies that help you cope with abandonment issues, include regulating sleep, exercising, and eating healthy to reduce stress